As busy business owners, leaders, and professionals (often with lives of work, volunteering, and family), it can be challenging to prioritize much less actually follow through when it comes to truly taking care of yourself. Sometimes this topic is blown off as a fluffy, feminine issue. However, while men don’t often get manicures or pedicures or schedule coffee chats with friends, both men and women both need to make sure they are resting and restoring their own energy. This is taking care of themselves.
When we don’t take care of ourselves, we put ourselves in a position of increased vulnerability to stress resulting in reduced emotional management and a highway to burn out. While our self-care actions might not hit our top 10 list for today’s priorities, it is time to start adding them to your list! Before we make a list of “ideals,” you will need to understand what self-care means for you.
For years my friends and family have chided me for burning the candle at both ends and needing to take care of myself. At times it was hard to understand what they meant. I knew I was busy, but I was doing things that were important to me, that I loved, and that I found energy and space for. My friends and family would say space at the cost of my downtime, but sometimes I felt confused about what was I supposed to be doing. I couldn’t see just sitting at home reading a book for 3 hours or even a single hour, or taking a whole day to go for a hike while still trying to do the hobbies I enjoyed. It felt like an oxymoron: “Relax and take care of yourself, but don’t schedule anything.” How do you get a massage without booking it and where do I squeeze that into my busy schedule? Usually, I would answer, “I am fine.” I had some self-care items scheduled into my day and felt plenty energized despite my business, but I knew I was not really taking care of myself or taking time for down-time luxuries, but it just seemed more stressful to plan those into the day as well.
What finally got my attention, as is true for many, is when my body couldn’t quite keep up with me in the same way that it used to. After my second daughter was born I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Hypothyroid. Symptoms are supposed to include tiredness, brain fog, body aches, etc. I thought, “What’s new? You just have to push through it.” The diagnosis really didn’t change anything except increase the concern of my friends and family for me to slow down and take care of myself. Enjoying productivity and getting things done, I kept a full schedule with 2 jobs, family, and a heavy volunteer schedule.
Then, I hit my 40s. While enjoying everything I was doing, I found a good amount of stress came with the low margin I allowed myself. The combination of the stress and health is what I attribute to some anxiety challenges I started to have which wound up resulting in panic attacks. This got my attention. I tried to manage this new challenge with mediation but found that that had additional side effects. I tried to go back to my years of options and efforts to work out, meditate, journal, quiet time, etc. I started to notice the activities of those who were getting older in years but looked young vs. those who were the same age that looked old. This is when I started considering how my low margins helped me get a lot done but significantly added to my stress load. My stress load contributed to my compromised help and increased anxiety which then had its own ripple effect.
So maybe you are in denial yet about self-care and have people telling you that you need to slow down, or maybe you have had your own turn around moment and recognize the importance of self-care. I believe everyone needs to take care of their body, mind, and spirit they have, but speaking to the on-the-go mover and shaker, you especially need to take care of yourself. You connect with a lot of people, you have an impact and depending on your level of self-care will impact your ability to keep doing what you are doing as well as the degree of positivity you share as you are doing it. So, how do you do it?
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